Purity Ring 3000

“What you need is an ironclad chastity safeguard!”

“Is this what you wanted?”

Hell yeah!

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Comedy Gold: Taking on Tyson

I recently watched the free iTunes sample of “Taking on Tyson”, a new reality show featuring Mike Tyson’s quest to enter the world of competitive pigeon racing.

No, I’m not kidding–professional pigeon racing!

You might be thinking, “That can’t be interesting,” but YOU’D BE WRONG, sucka! Tyson takes you straight into the emotional turbulence of his checkered, ear-biting past, and brings you out the other side to find the new champ, a man that is a tender-hearted lover of flying rats.  He’s actually likable.

The pilot episode included hilarious lines, but a few of which you can find in the youtube trailer for the series:

Now I could never race pigeons.  I don’t like the way they look at us, with such creepy, distracted malevolence.  If they were as big as a volkswagon, I’m sure they’d be swooping down from above, beaking people in half, or killing us with basketball sized droppings.  It’d be a regular Pigeonocalypse.  Thank God we won Mother Nature’s lottery and got the size advantage on them.