ShamPOW: A Second Consumer Scandal!

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Hard on the heels of finding the ShamWow song, students at school brought to my attention a story about front-man Vince.  As the students were telling it, a hooker bit off Vince’s tongue, which prompted Vince to punch her a few times.  Here’s hoping Vince had a ShamWow to absorb all the blood.  

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Skeptical as to the whole biting-off of the tongue, I took to the “interwebs” to ascertain the truth.  Apparently, Vince is not sans tongue, but his crazy hooker did bite and refuse to let go, prompting him to play whack-a-mole with her face.  I’d feel sorry for someone here if I didn’t think this was karma sending a pretty obvious wake-up call to them both for poor decisions.  

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Hilarious!

Watch their faces!  Funny parody of Shamwow.  These guys have a whole site with other videos.

Elbows of Death!

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Newsflash!  There is finally a Krav Maga center in St. Louis!  For those unfamiliar with the brutal fighting arts, Krav Maga is the lethal self-defense technique taught to some of the biggest badasses on the planet–the Israeli Defense Forces.  It’s also the martial art that serves as the basis for Batman’s buttkicking in the recent Christopher Nolan/Christian Bale flicks. 

On the “Batman Begins” commentary, it’s described as a form of fighting where you basically decide whether you’re going to maim or kill your assailant.  In other words, it’s the polar opposite of the allegedly non-lethal martial arts of Aikido or Judo (which I studied and found somewhat impractical).  

Krav Maga’s lethality comes from the powerful elbow and knee strikes it employs, and was designed to quickly end altercations in which one found themselves facing a gun, knife, or multiple opponents.  I’ve wanted to learn it for some time now, though let’s be honest, some of that comes from the fact that it’s elbow strike–perhaps alone in the martial arts–combos safely and effectively with repeated pimp slaps. 

Don’t think it a chauvinist’s martial art, however, as demonstrated by the picture below.  It’s for any lady who’s found the need to go up through the nose and pick a man’s brain…

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Excessive “Boobage”

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You can find the weirdest stuff on the web, dontcha know? 

Earlier today I was trying to enter a status notification displaying my displeasure at the excessive “boobage” displayed on a facebook sidebar advertisement (for a dating service).  Every time I tried to send it, weird things happened, and it wouldn’t post.  This, of course, infuriated me.  Here they could plaster veritable nudity on my sidebar, but I’m prevented from calling them out publicly on their “boobage”.  

So I’m endeavoring to find a workaround.  We’ll see if my blogfeed will do the trick.  Meanwhile, enjoy the blue-footed booby bird, and his mystical dance.  

The Bataan Deathmarch Continues…

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There are times teaching is very rewarding, and then there are days it seems like the Bataan Deathmarch.  Today was one of those days.

On the other hand, I did pull off a zinger, when one of the office aids asked the other, “Have you seen ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’?”

“Oh I have,” I chimed in with my haughty voice, “Every morning when I look in the mirror.”