…I thought of saying to nearby customers while shopping at Borders’ going out of business sale. Note, I did not actually say them:
My Comment: “That book is awesome. You have no idea how many ways I could kill you right now.”
Sidenote: I own this book and it IS awesome.
2. Subject/Victim: A middle-aged woman in the “Religion” section.
My comment: “Yeah…right… More like ‘D-Bag Chopra’.”
3. Subject/Victim: Tanned blonde co-ed in the “Wellness” section near the “Comedy” section.
My comment: “You know, I was the inspiration for this book. It’s really a biography.”
4. Subject/Victim: Wealthy looking elderly couple.
My comment: “Do you happen to be millionaires? Because I’d like to discuss this book and an exciting investment opportunity with you…”
5. Subject/Victim: Completely average WASP in the bargain bin.
My Comment: “Ha! No wonder they haven’t sold this book. Everyone knows potheads can’t read.”