Lush Nation

When I use the word “lush”, I’m not talking about foliage.  I heard a news report last night about the “average American”, and among the interesting little factoids shared, a few stood out. 

  1. Americans spent $155 billion dollars last year on alcohol. 

I’m not saying we bring back Prohibition or anything, but come on people!  $155 billion!?  Isn’ that the GNP of some Third World countries?  I did a google image search for “drunken idiots”+funny, and this picture popped up: 


Make no mistake, that little girl is clearly screaming in outrage over our ridiculous consumption of alcohol, not because the starving water buffalo just ate her little brother.  Of course, your callous indifference to her plight would drive her to drink, but she’s too dirt poor to afford alcohol. 

And if that weren’t bad enough, compound it with these factoids…

   2. & 3. The average American works out 17 minutes a day, and spends 3 hours watching TV. 

Do we really need to look any further to discover the reason for our absurd levels of obesity?   Honestly, how hard is it to do some crunches, pushups, or dips while watching the boobtube?  Drop and give me 20 ya fat slobs!

Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a water buffalo I have to headbutt into submission for someone. 


2 Responses to “Lush Nation”

  1. romi41 Says:

    I saw you on Leaky Brain’s blog, and I just laughed my arse off from this post 🙂 …oh my god, I can’t believe we’re driving that poor girl to drink, and it’s so tragic that the young pup can’t even afford it! Dirt-cocktails it is then..sigh.. (with her brother as her friday-night date (oh wait, her brother’s in that water buffalo’s stomach isn’t he? Damn, talk about a rough day for that poor little chick 😦 )

  2. J Mikler Says:

    But, $42 Billion on pets… For every 3 beers, 1 goldfish. Swim, swim, swim.

    And think how the avg. American child spends 4 hours a day with television: more time than spent with (i) parents or (ii) at school. I’d rather people debauch themselves…

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