In addition to being horribly un-P.C., I’m ethnically insensitive. It’s one of my most endearing traits, really. For example, when people ask about my ancestry, I tell them I’m mostly German, with a smattering of Serbian and Irish.
Of course, my genetic heritage is also pretty convincing proof of the predominant power of “nurture” over “nature”, because if everything was a matter of genes, I’d be a walking genocide machine, and you’d all be screwed.
Another example of my ethnic insensitivity cropped up yesterday in a conversation with a friend. A “widget” is a little mini-software application that can be dropped into documents and webpages (for example, that calendar widget on the right side of my page), but if I didn’t already know that, my first guess as to the meaning of the word [widget] would be that it’s slang for “white midget”. This spawned a whole series of new descriptive (and offensive) classifications for midgets: “Bidget” (black midget), “Aidget” (asian midget), “Hidget” (hispanic midget), “Gidget” (gay midget), and “Didget” (dinosaur midget), for those of you that believe a race of lizard people lives underground.
I really have nothing against little people. It’s just that I’m part Irish…it was only a matter of time before we got revenge on those leprechaun bastards.
P.S. If you’re interested, I’ll let you sign the petition I’m sending to the Census Bureau. I’d like them to adopt my “Midget Classification System”.